You.

You, yes you. Not anyone else, but you. Do you know who you are? Where you’re going, who you’re going with? All of the  information that you are supposedly meant to be prepared for. To have a plan for the rest of your life – get good grades, go to university, get a job, marry, have children, grow old together, then do whatever you want. Is this not the ‘ideal’ way forward? Is this not what society is expecting from us now, to follow a plan, to be educated well, and if you’re not you are deemed less? You go to your workplaces, school places, whatever places you may be going to, every day, following the same pattern and doing the same things. Hoping to do well and continue on, but, like a dirty rag, you’re absorbing all around you, until it gradually becomes too heavy and eventually, that rag becomes useless.

You follow this routine – because that’s what it is really isn’t it? A routine. You never really expect anything to differ, but what if it did? What if, out of nowhere your life suddenly took a drastic hit, and that affected your whole life.

Well, that’s exactly what happened to me, I was following the same routine daily, weekly, monthly, doing what I had to do – school, work, friends, family. Family. Doing all these things, yet forgetting the value of them all, and how much I take for granted. I did all these things, and when that drastic hit came, let me tell you – I was not prepared.

This past half a year or so, has proven to be a rollercoaster ride for not only me, but my family also. It began late last year, and hasn’t actually ended yet. It began with my Aunty taking her life. She was struggling, and could not continue, and as a consequence of this, didn’t want to go on, we had to say goodbye. Devastatingly, I can’t say that is all that has happened. After this, my Granny took ill, and still is, she was recently re-admitted into hospital due to illness – she has had a good life, and has been so courageous – a real woman of strength, I love her very much and I know she is in good care.

Following on from this, the worst was still to come. On the 13th of November, we received the heartbreaking news that my cousin had taken his life – from nowhere. He had gone out that night to walk his dog, and did not come back. The shock and heartbreak of this is something I will always hold. I can remember those days so clearly, from going over to Ireland for the funeral, to laughing and crying with the family over memories, and stories being told. Those days really did highlight the importance of family, and the value of them in my life – without them, and my friends support, I have no idea where I would be now. The loss of their only son, left my Aunty and Uncle devastated. They loved him so massively, and their bond was so strong.

As a couple, they were so valiant, such amazing people, and as the days passed on, they tried so hard to continue on with their lives. However, my Uncle really was heart broken. His dearest son; his best friend, was gone, and so was a part of him. And, with that, I have to say with the deepest sorrow he could not go on. On good friday of this past April 2015, my Uncle also passed away due to the the injuries he sustained from attempting to take his own life. His beloved, precious life. He couldn’t live without his son, and he no longer had to. Three suicides within the space of simply months. Words can not say how difficult it has been. So, from this, we once again went back over to Ireland, remembering the pain and memories we had only witnessed months earlier. Having no idea what to say, but to talk about the wonderful lives these people had and we had the honour to share with them, and the light they shone out to everyone – pure love through and through. They will always be with us – in our hearts.

When over in Ireland, to add to the already hectic lives of laughter, sorrow, and love, my Mum also took ill. She was admitted into hospital with blood clots in her lungs, and there was a moment when there was uncertainty if she would survive, all I can do is thank the Lord that she did. She was also able to make it to Uncle Robert’s funeral, for some of it – which is what she wanted. Through these tragedies, I have witnessed strength in my family, that is so unbelieveable. My Aunty has been such an inspiration, never giving up, or allowing what has happened to lose sight of what she has. And that, to me is amazing. My parents, such amazing people, going over to Ireland fortnightly to support the family and do all they can. Everyone in my family working as one to build what has been knocked down, gradually up again, never forgetting those who are gone though.

These months have been tough, but they are not all that is in life. I was helped by all those around me loving and letting me be me. I also have a personal faith in Jesus Christ that sustains me.

But what about YOU? This is what I say to YOU, if you feel lost, like there’s no one to talk to, or you feel like there’s no point in going on, stop. Talk to someone, do not let the pressures of today suffocate you. No matter how dark the day seems, there will always be light. Talk to friends, teachers, people you work with or God.

So many different things can begin to define you, from how you look, to even how you speak – I find it ridiculous if I’m honest. When did it become socially acceptable to let these aspects become a person? Absorbing them all, until they see little point to anything else. Do not let these things become who you are. Fight back. Do not conform to what people expect, what people are telling you to be – you are whoever you want to be. We have no idea what may be coming, don’t waste the time you have, on your own or with friends, family, doing things that are useless, be caring, loving, kind, not harsh and quick to put others down. Who knows what one simple hello to someone on their own could provide them with. Love, everyone possesses it, why don’t YOU pass it on, stand out and be your own person. Simply be YOU.